10 Divorce Truths That Will Comfort You
You can count on me to give you straight talk about divorce:
It’s hard.
It takes more time than you want it to.
The change pulls at the deepest parts of you.
But even amidst the pain and uncertainty, there are some deep and abiding truths that can offer solace and comfort. I’m sharing ten of those insights today to hopefully inspire and reassure you through this period of upheaval in your life.
This Painful Part Will End
It might seem like the pain and agitation of your divorce is never-ending, but please know that it does end. You will get through this. Each passing day where you wrestle and strain toward wholeness brings you closer to relief.
Your Children Figure it Out
Your children have no choice but to organize themselves around the family they are given. They will incorporate the story of your divorce into their lives and make sense of it in ways that are meaningful to them. They will find their way, use their voices, draw conclusions, and adjust to what is happening. With your love and support, they will come to understand it even more over time.
Your Narrative is Your Power
You have the power to shape the narrative of your divorce. You get to decide why it happened, what matters most, what disapp0intments linger, and what it means for you going forward. Your former partner’s version of those same factors are not your responsibility to correct.
You Will Adapt to the Unchanging Nature of Your Former Partner
The hard truth is that your former partner may not change; the comforting one is that you will learn to accept that. You may need to search far and wide to find it, but acceptance will eventually find a home in you. It finds you as you keep diligently and honestly seeking it.
There Will Be Mindful Moments of Divorce-Free Peace
In your future, there will be moments - even days - when your mind is free from thoughts of your divorce. Even though it preoccupies every corner of your mind right now, a day will come when you are surprised that your divorce has stepped off of center stage.
Financial Clarity is Achievable
Sorting out your finances in and after divorce may seem daunting at the beginning, but you will figure it out. You will seek professional advice, take it one step at a time, and gradually regain control over your financial well-being. You may even learn to enjoy the feeling of directing your money and your lifestyle independently.
You Will Find a New Rhythm of Life
Everything is out of whack right now. Divorce does not mean that you just pluck your former partner out of your life and leave everything else the same. It is a complete life overhaul. Nothing goes untouched. The good news is that your life does with time find its way to a new, different, pleasing rhythm.
You Actually Like Who You become
Your divorce may have triggered it, but it will force you to grow in ways you always knew you needed to. The stuck places you are feeling right now are there to highlight the next phase of growth for you. You will enjoy the lighter feeling of dropping your old behaviors, communication styles, and reactivity as you move into the next phase of life.
Fear Is a Temporary Companion
The fear you are experiencing now has a purpose – to compel you to be on the lookout. There is a lot at risk in divorce, and thankfully your brain is on the job. There will come a day when your fear no longer leads the way. Fear serves its purpose right now, but it will not be needed for the long haul.
Your Journey Will Mean Everything to You
Who you become, what you encounter, and what you learn and change in your life as a result of divorce will be very precious to you. The great undoing will make way for the great remaking.
Read through these comforting truths periodically to remind you that the divorce storm is temporary. And hang in there…the way forward is being made clear for you and sometimes by you.
